When we were in college, we felt like adults, especially in choosing our major. It was one of the biggest things we would decide on that had a real impact in our lives.
It would carve out the path we would walk on leaving college and into adult life.
Some of us back then probably gave in to whatever it was that our parents wanted us to take–medicine, law, architecture. And did so without batting an eyelash too. It just made sense.
We wanted what they wanted. Or so we thought.
Now that we’re adults, we have more control over what we’re going to do with our lives, like where we want to live, what company we want to work for, what kind of family we want to build, our partner, etc.
But how are we sure we’re following our dreams and not anyone else’s?
That’s also probably one of the reasons why some people don’t get what they want out of life, because what they’re working for is not what they desire in their hearts, but what is expected of them to want.
So what are the signs that you might not be living your life?
You seek others’ approval more than your own
It’s normal to want to get your friends’ opinion about taking a new job, joining a class, buying clothes. You ask them because you value their opinion and think highly of them.
But if you are asking because you want to please them or you want to be the same with them, that’s another story.
Despite what you think they’re going to say or despite what they actually say, you should be able to take into consideration what you really want. That should weigh more in your decisions than anybody else’s opinion.
You’re too agreeable
If you avoid conflict and confrontation because it’s simply easier to just go with the flow, then you’re probably not producing your own currents.
Everybody will rock the boat at some point. Probably even several points.
If you have gone your whole life not standing up for what you believe in, or not having an argument with friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers, then you’re probably not living in your own terms.
Ask yourself why you’re being agreeable. Because there really are just people who are like that.
But if you’re actively stopping yourself from wanting what you want because it’s going against others and that’s just too much of a hassle for you to deal with, then you’re not running the show.
You’re not being honest
You’re not asking yourself the big questions and when you do, you still retreat to the safest answers possible, as if the people you’re trying to please can hear your thoughts.
If you can’t admit things even to yourself, you really have issues. You will find yourself compromising a little bit of your soul everytime you say yes when you really mean no, when you say it’s okay even when it’s not, until you won’t recognize yourself anymore.
You need to respect yourself just enough to keep on wanting to respect yourself a little bit more every day until you have enough courage to be your awesome self regardless of what others might think.
Living your life should be as natural to you as breathing. Own it.
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Source and credit of this article: HEATHER MATTHEWS